2020 Video (MV)

Another year's passed
If you reach a star, you might as well grab
Another year's passed
If you reach a star, you might as well grab
Not done swallowing the truth
Got wisdom in my tooth
Got blood on my shoes
Lost a couple friends
And I broke a few rules
Run too much from the things I can't do
Can't run from the past 'cause the past came back
People know things that I can't take back
Can't fade to black
Won't turn to that
You want me to forget and I want to so bad
I lost my first friend
Something I could prevent
The guilt is there but it will not connect
Can't remember your face
It's all there in my head
But it don't look the same
I knew from the start
Let you fall apart
Let you jump the branch
Let you kill your art
Now she's left cracked
And you're stuck like that
And you won't come back
'Cause you can't come back
Got my father's face
And his temper too
What he did to me
I can't do to you
Beer bottles and liquor
Took my mom and sister
From this house that ain't home
Only house that I've known
Why do I love the man that I loathe
Why do I love the man who hurts most
Why do I want him back
And why the f*ck can't I be mad
Your only son and you can't see that
Your only son and the one you lack
Still sippin' tonic
I'm watching you die
And I can't stand to watch it
You tryna make profit
But what can you do when you won't stop it
What can you do when my feelings turn solid
I finally got it
But what did it cost me
Another year's passed
If you reach a star, you might as well grab
Another year's passed
If you reach a star, you might as well grab
I'm never turning to the facts
He stabbed me in the back
And took what you had
Dirt in the sand
But dirt on his hands
I'd bury the body, but I made the plan
Hate to admit I'm the same f*ckin' man
Can't let you fall in the same shit again
I'm a monster
Blame everything but the start
It eats me alive like a cancer
Thought I held a higher standard
You left 'cause you can I'm sorry
He hurt me and you
And I let him stand
A part of me hates I was ever his friend
Lost all my money bein' like him
Made my wallet talk louder than my hands
Louder than my words
Louder than my stance
It's not their fault
It's what they dragged me into
Wasn't a pitfall
It was a snake pit I didn't see through
I couldn't keep you
Yelling and screaming
And ducking the feelings
No excuse or reason
That I can't keep to myself
Lead you to the valley
But I put you through hell
He ruined your mind but I ruined your health
I kept you alive when the thought of me quelled
And pushed you away when it started to swell
And I wasted your time
Didn't swallow my pride
I toed the line so you followed his side
I understand why
I didn't have to lie
So why did I lie
Another year's passed
If you reach a star, you might as well grab
Another year's passed
If you reach a star, you might as well grab
How long do I stand at this door 'til it opens
Left my feelings at the gate
Prepared the table for your opus
Let you fall into his trap
Let you stumble back
Didn't mean to fumble on this
Didn't mean to make you turn to that
But now I see his face
Now I know his name
Now I recreate
What he's been desecrating
What he did inside my brain
I would talk to God
Make it disappear
I would pray and fall onto my knees in tears
I can find my peace
Live and let it die
But if I ever saw his face again
I would end his life