Happy Days & Disintegration Video (MV)

Happy days and disintegration
Happy days and disintegration
Happy days and disintegration
Happy days and disintegration
Wrote this back in May, it'd been like 18 months
At that stage - give or take weeks but
Still mad pain in the thing that makes me pump blood
Least these days I'm not just numb and afraid

Mind process but my heart can't feel it
Dead inside and the scars aren't healin'
Numb to pain till it hunts this brain down
Cripples me, try to run away now
Into dreams where I've dug my grave proudly
And beam with love for all those around me
But then I wake, hand on my head
Where the regrets lie, in that lonely bed
And I'm bereft time to retrieve my mind
Or at least one piece I could use to find
New direction, may never be whole again
But I never wanna fall into this hole again
And I never wanna offer up my soul again
To the vultures with their countless other stolen gems
Guess mine ain't worth nothin' to the cold agenda
Of the bold pretenders who dispose of friends

And I guess that I've got
Nothin' to really lose
So I'm gon' do my best
And make do with these blues
Born of pain, rise again
Morning rain, night and day
Forecast say, skies ain't grey
But in my mind...

The kid been crazy, parented by sweet disease
They all doubt but the mania believes in me
Its polar opposite I meet so frequently
And in his stranglehold I breathe less easily
They inner cannibal stay lookin' for beef I see
Till the cows come home, but they sheep to me
I ain't bout that though, and if you seek it please
Remember everything is everything and peace is peace
I need beats to breathe
On them days where I greet defeat through gritted teeth
With complete despair in my eyes that tear up
Or they would if it wasn't for how dry my tear ducts
Have been for the last year plus with no end in sight
Heart's been sentenced life, tried to mend it twice
Now I just clench it tight
And accept that cherished friendships die

And I guess that I've got
Nothin' to really lose
So I'm gon' do my best
And make do with these blues
Born of pain, rise again
Morning rain, night and day
Forecast say, skies ain't grey
But in my mind they stay...

Catch a glimpse of happiness peeking through the blackness quick
Obstacle to heal when it's not possible to feel
Nothing's really real, yes I'm feelin' real nothing right now
And that pitch black demon's on the night prowl
Push it down inside, tell myself that it's alright
If I feed myself the lie enough I actually believe it
Scare it till it hides in the dark pit it resides
Everyone already knows, but I act like it's a secret
Beats is my voice but noone's f*ckin' with the sound
They the ugly unwanted little puppies at the pound
F*ck it then they're good enough for me
And that's all that really counts
I'ma get back on my feet
As leopards hide in wait to pounce
And if I ever do decide to reach new heights and face the ground
Her venom in my blood I bet they'll find in trace amounts
(Mr. Cobain play me out)

And I guess that I've got
Nothin' to really lose
So I'm gon' do my best
And make do with these blues
Born of pain, rise again
Morning rain, night and day
Forecast say, skies ain't grey
But in my mind they stay...

I love you
I love you
I love you
All of you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
All of you
I love you
All of you

Every little f*cked up speck of you
Nothing left of you but perception skewed
Guess I was a jealous dude... but if I saw him now
I'd just thank him, for protecting you