Illumination Video (MV)

I️ truly thought I'd never make it to today
I️ truly thought I️ was a waste of this space
I️ truly thought I'd never taste another good taste
The bitter in my mouth from the taste of drugs
Look around it's winter with the cloudson my face is blood
Look down

All I️t was was
Take drugs look down
Take drugs look down

Until she wants to
Make love look out

But look Now we're just f*cking out of the madness
Coming through the ground I've been punching out of my casket

Back against the bed I️ can't stop pacing
My friends I've been two faced with faded from meds that I can't stop taking

My minds racing through days that I️ thought I️d never make it

I try and think of which way a sign is
But then I'm sinking

You found me dying too proud Im trying to hide it
You found it
I tried to lie
The truths out and now I'll be quiet
The silence hurts
When it's merged with a riot of violent nerves
And it's hopeless to try live with this being alone broken
I'm so blessed so blessed
But so sick
I'm so stressed so stressed
That it won't give

And all those days I thought about you
Let me tell you bout em

So you can walk around acting like
You never felt like that about me

And all those days I thought about you
Let me tell you bout em

So you can walk around acting like
You never felt like that about me

See that was 3 years ago and I still feel it
All my exes every time I get that feeling I'm sick and
I got a list at home of shit I did I wish I didn't
I got a lot of empty promises and missing pictures
But now it's different
I just want a good living til I have some good pictures to take
Shit
I just had a good Christmas for a change
Im here to make it for all the years I was taking
All the wrongs from the day I was born
Moms tears made it storm
All the fear I prayed off
All the tears in my songs

I've been gone it's been to long
I've been wrong it's been too wrong
Walking through my city don't really know I belong
They're talking shit but don't really know me at all

And all those days I thought about you
Let me tell you bout em

So you can walk around acting like
You never felt like that about me

And all those days I thought about you
Let me tell you bout em

So you can walk around acting like
You never felt like that about me

Ever since I came from a place I can't find ways to explain
Its my brain on the days that rain
It's my pain on the page
I made it this far
But can I stay here for long?
Can I keep it?
Evils deceiving see it leaving needles on my street I mean yes I'm a genius
Pick it and I'll eat it I mean it
But I'm stressing
I might pick myself to pieces to feed them if I don't get this
I'm fiending
You'll see the numbers I left with
My destinys to see it so
Please you don't wana test it
I'm dreaming