Bex Lindsey - not ready for christmas Lyrics

They said it'd get easier as each year went on by
And if this is what easier looks like, then they lied
And God only knows it's not from lack of trying
Everyone's in their rooms and no one's in the kitchen
And it feels just like last year, cause just as much is missing and
I don't miss the toys, I miss the genuine smiles
Maybe this is what it's like
Everything keeps on moving but I'm still here stuck in this loop
Trying to be grateful for each day, while missing you
Wish I could say I feel at home, but I don't
Everyone likes to talk cause no one wants to listen
To the silence in the room or the masochist who mentions it
I don't feel joy, I feel the cold inside
Maybe this is what it's like
Or maybe I just needed more time
Bright lights, red robes, and gifts under the tree
Christmas songs in the kitchen, you're singing with me
Once a year you loved me enough to like me
Scared If I am happy, it means I miss you less
Traditions turned to obligations to be met
This isn't what you'd want
So I'm doing my best
And now everyone's in their rooms and no one's in the kitchen
It might be a new year but just as much is missing and
I don't miss the toys, I miss the genuine smiles