Ben Mark Smith - Riding Home For Christmas Lyrics

Standing at the bus stop
Someone's singing Deck The Halls
Jingle my bell it's freezing
I can't feel my bloody balls
A bloke is wazzing in the snow
Now usually that's me
He's had a cheeky eggnog
Before he rides the twenty three
I'm not driving home for Christmas
Like that bloke Chris Rea
Already had a pint or four
To celebrate the year
But don't you fret I'm riding home for Christmas
On a bloody bus
The kids are playing in the snow
They've got some coal and sticks
They build a great big snowman
And use a carrot for his dick
An old blokes struggling in the ice
He begins to slip and fall
But those kids they go and save him
The Christmas spirits caught them all
I'm not driving home for Christmas
Like that bloke Chris Rea
Already had a pint or five
To celebrate the year
But don't you fret I'm riding home for Christmas
On a bloody bus
East-Seventeen sip champagne
Mariah Carey buys another plane
The royalties rise
So Buble can smile again
Been standing here an hour or so
Where is that Bloody bus
Begin to phone the bus company
To kick up quite the fuss
When who should call
The old ball and chain
And I listen in sheer dismay
She's laughing as she reminds me
Buses don't run on Christmas day
I'm not driving home for Christmas
Like that bloke Chris Rea
Already had a pint orSix
To celebrate the year
But don't you fret I'm riding home for Christmas
In a bloody
But don't you fret I'm riding home for Christmas
In a bloody
But don't you fret I'm riding home for Christmas
In a bloody Uber