Closed-Eyed Video (MV)

I'm exhausted
I think I've lost it
Voices inside my head tell me I'm toxic
Said I got you, but there's something 'bout way you sound
Maybe the voice is telling me I shouldn't be around
Isn't the first time, heard a white lie
I don't know what I can't see
That's why I'm closed-eyed
Lie in bed to fall asleep, so I can't think of ways
On why I don't deserve the love even on better days

Breathe in the smoke of my anxiety
Fueling curiosity ends
Swallow the pill of your intentions
Relieving all the tensions I have

I realize now that I wasn't who I wanted to be
And I live with that every single day and question
Whether I deserve to love or even be loved
I'm exhausted by the way I feel
Something tells me I can't change my thoughts or how I heal
I look at you and think that maybe I can find a new but
I fight against my inner thoughts that say we aren't true yet
I live inside a world where I'm the bad guy
Tear you down because mind's on the wrong side
Blind myself to my thoughts to find place to hide
I'm sick and tired of constantly being closed-eyed
Opening's the hardest part
Found the key but that don't mean that I know where to start
Sit in silence for the times that I don't know the words
Fall asleep to all my wishes I don't see the hurt

You say to be strong for the both of us
But what if I'm not
Pull us both into a rut when I
Drink a little too much
I'm too young to decide
See another good night with you by my side
I'm not wrong if I keep myself closed-eyed

Breathe in the smoke of my anxiety
Fueling curiosity ends
Swallow the pill of your intentions
Relieving all the tensions I have