Cry Video (MV)

I looked up at the sky today I thought of you
I wrote another poem all to honor you
I know that what I say now won't matter much
In fact at all
I've said it all before now
But never said those words aloud I murdered you
I aborted you
Afraid to tell my mom the truth
Don't wanna spread the pain
08/13 The day that you would be here
I'm in here just tryna keep my eyes clear
I hate the tears but who am I to cry
When you're the one that died
And I'm the one that got tatted
Lied about it
I ain't even have the guts to talk about it
I talked around it
I wish I had the ultrasound
It's probably for the best though
Can barely handle convos
About kids and part of me
Seems to think I'll never get another chance
It's honestly my biggest fear my worst regret
I won't forget the pain I felt
The day she left to meet the doc and have it done
I've now become the man I thought I'd never be
And now I'm just a man that's writing letters to his kid
And if I'm honest I feel sick for even feeling sorry for myself
But it hurts for me on Father's Day
Cuz I know that I pissed away the blessing
Don't deserve no recognition
But can help to hear this voice inside
That tells me that I should be
What I should be
What I could be
Who I am are not the same
I'm the same exact dude who
Always said he'd never have a kid aborted
Same exact dude who
Prays to hear the heartbeat of his child
Cuz I know I'd keep him now
Or her
If it happened I would cherish you forever
Love you like a squirrel loves a nut
Hide you from the stuff that's out to get you
But I'd always let you be you
I'm in the booth to tell the truth and let these words come shooting through
This beat is like a catalyst
To spark the reign of fire coming out me like a phoenix
And as I read this back I feel connected to you
So let this be my last one I know it's in the past and
I been looking back and
No I won't forget you
I just know that I can't hold on to this pain inside forever
Cuz I had a dream about you last week
And you was reaching through the clouds with your little hand out
Yelling daddy it's ok to let go, cuz I home
I forgive you and now it's time for you to do the same
I'm not pain it's ok go ahead and shed your tears
I appreciate the love but you're stronger than you think
So this letter ain't in ink
It's in blood it's from the heart
All the tears I cried the past year
All because of that fear
Here's me drawing back the curtains
Taking down another label

Just cry
Just cry
Cry
Cry