Avian - Strong Lyrics

Everybody says, "check up on your strong friends"
Then I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I've been
Plus, I would be lying if I said I wouldn't lie
Even if they did end up asking if I was doing fine
I just think it's easier to keep shit to yourself,
And it's not like anybody could do anything to help
But just listen to me cry about my life and things
Behind the scenes, the fight between the light
And my declining mental health
I really don't wanna be a burden or a bother
I'm probably already hurting my mother and father
And honestly, I feel at fault for all the bullshit obstacles
Irresponsible financially when Dad was in the hospital
I'm in this hole, helpless, rock bottom is underneath me
Trying to climb out, but it seems to be unceasing
I'm sinking, and I'm beginning to think that I don't belong
I need you to bare with me, I'm trying to stay strong, but...
Sometimes I feel like I'm just not strong enough
Sometimes I feel like I've been around long enough
I've been giving it everything I've got, and it's not enough
You told me to be strong
So I'm going to be strong
For you
I prefer isolation five days of the week
It's crazy, the ideations are staying at ease
I hate this disease, won't take the medication I need
I cut down on all the drinking, and replaced it with weed
But still I have conversations with the devil on my shoulder
He's reminding me how terrified I am to get older
Lo and behold, I'm at home all alone and I'm zoned out
Thinking about the places that we go when we go
And I don't know if there's really a Heaven or Hell
I lost my faith in God at like eleven or twelve
I couldn't help but see him as a figment of imagination
Tried to pray three times a day, but I awake into the same shit
Everyday we're getting closer to death, it won't be long
The closer I get, I begin hoping I'm wrong
I'm choked up, I opened up a lot in this song
I promise I'm trying to stay strong, but...
Sometimes I feel like I'm just not strong enough
Sometimes I feel like I've been around long enough
I've been giving it everything I got, and it's not enough
You told me to be strong
So I'm going to be strong
For you
All my friends are finding love, starting families, and thriving
While I'm stuck in the background focusing on surviving
Hoping nobody notices the shit that I'm hiding
So I force another smile, and of course I get high again
I admit I got some problems I probably should be focused on
But I'm a broken poet, I throw them all in a broken song
If it ain't one thing, another thing is going wrong
That's just how it goes, now I only float along
Time isn't kind I kinda wish we could reverse it
Fix some shit, pick up the pieces, learn to be a decent person
Searching for a way out, these days I stay hurting
I'ts worse than it was before, close the door and all the curtains
I just need some peace and quiet, leave me be to sleep in silence
Dreaming scenes of evil, why am I so fixated on dying?
I've been stuck inside of my own mind for way too long
I'm sorry, I'm trying to stay strong, but...
Sometimes I feel like I'm just not strong enough
Sometimes I feel like I've been around long enough
I've been giving it everything I got, and it's not enough
You told me to be strong
So I'm going to be strong
For you