Assimilate This - No Tribble At All Lyrics

I had a drink in the bar as I recall
When a trader walked in with a little furball
"They're harmless," he said, "and soft as a dream"
But soon we were drowning in a tribble stream
Oh the trouble with tribbles is they never stop
They eat all your grain then they start to pop
From one to a dozen then a hundred they'll be
Tribbles breed trouble exponentially
Kirk's pulling his hair and Scotty's irate
Chekov says the grain's creator is up for debate
But Spock tilts his brow says it's only a pest
Bones fires back, "Spock! Give it a rest."
Oh the trouble with tribbles is they never stop
They eat all your grain then they start to pop
From one to a dozen then a hundred they'll be
Tribbles breed trouble exponentially
Dax lights up please let us find Koloth tonight
O'Brien says was that Kirk then they fight
Worf shakes his head I will not discuss
As chaos erupts with the Klingons and us
But under the grain the truth lay bare
The Klingons had poisoned what was hidden there
What happened to my coffee and my cordon bleu
This tribble is dead and that one is too
Oh the trouble with tribbles is they never stop
They eat all your grain then they start to pop
From one to a dozen then a hundred they'll be
Tribbles breed trouble exponentially
So keep your circuits open keep your grain in your sight
And beware of the critters that breed overnight
But with a Klingon roar and a transporter's beam
We rid the Enterprise of this tribbling scheme
Where there'll be no tribble at all