Don't move to Chowchilla
Yeah, It's not where you wanna be
You're kids'll start smoking crystal meth
And the cops might touch your teens
Don't move to Chowchilla
Yeah, this town's slashed down its seams
The only thing saggier than these eyes
Is everyone's f*cking jeans
You say this place just smells like piss
I say "smells like home sweet home"
Nothing makes me happier
Than a kids mouth filled with foam
Walking down Robertson is like
Playing real life laser tag
The kids all wanna leave and when they
Do they're not coming back
Don't move to Chowchilla
Don't even visit or say hi
You can try to hop a train but even they don't wanna stop by
Don't move to Chowchilla
Unless you want pink eye
Don't even step foot or else you might get a UTI
You say this place just smells like piss
I say "smells like home sweet home"
Nothing makes me happier
Than a kids mouth filled with foam
Walking down Robertson is like
Playing real life laser tag
The kids all wanna leave and when they
Do they're not coming back