Aray - Where I've Been Lyrics

Others wonder where I been but the thoughts aren't likewise
If I kept looking back how could I move my life right
They slept on me so it's goodbye and night night
If you're not in touch then you're out my eye sight
I been tryna paint a future but they messed up my palette
Wasted my time and wasted my talents
All the while my life and bank hangs in the balance
Still beating inside though it's become so calloused
Seeing the start of what I had manifested
So much of the time and money man invested
For my whole life evil eye had man infected
Positive outcome each time this man is tested
Got no space for friends now I've accepted my demons
Better the devil you know I got many reasons
I can't help anyone despite how deep in
Where I've been is staying far from these heathens
I've had enough of periodic updates
Please just leave me alone for f*ck's sake
You say it though you don't but cos you must pray
Keep you in mine though I know you just fakes
Seen the smallest actions that made my trust break
Constant reminders there's no escaping rough days
No time soon maybe laugh it off some day
Makes my head walk through a long distance runway
When it rains it pours I just need me a sunray
Bad news ain't news with a life span of dark days
Wherever I've been it's never where love stays
Getting to this point though feels like I buss cased
Some things ain't really changed since nursery
This heart too damaged can't fix with a surgery
As time goes on I'm surprised no one murdered me
The only true prayers I know came maternally