Apes of the State - Internet Song Lyrics

Gather round kids
I'll tell you all some stories of what life was like before the internet
We wandered round
Our neighborhoods aimlessly
Lighting things on fire and smoking cigarettes
And your dad
Probably tried pot
If he said he didn't then he is a liar
He met your mom
When she was passed out on the floor at a party
And that's why they don't let you outside

Oh gather round kids
I'll tell you all some stories of what it was like before Facebook ruined everything
We went to concerts
To watch the performers
Not staring at a livestream on our cell phone screens
We did nice things for each other
Without posting about it on our status
We got in fights
And beat the crap out of eachother
With our fists instead of through nasty comments

Gather round kids
I'll tell you all some stories of what it was like before Instagram ruined pictures
We used cameras and got the film developed
And people couldn't even hide behind filters
Now your dad is looking at porn on Tumblr
And your mom is cheating on your dad through Tindr
Swipe right
Does anyone remember
The days when we used to like to go outside?

Gather round kids
I'll tell you all some stories of what life was like before the internet
We wandered round
Our neighborhoods aimlessly
Lighting things on fire and smoking cigarettes
And your dad
Took a bunch of acid
Met your mom
And they cut all of their classes
Went to a party and conceived you on the floor
And that's why they don't let you outside anymore
Yea that's why we don't let kids outside