Suppression Out of Season Video (MV)

I remember that time hiding in the bathroom with the door locked
No gun cocked but words like shots fired, emotions and heart stopped
My mom trying to protect me but I could still hear the screaming
My dad stayed around but trust issues after it kept repeating
Honest with myself now in effort to not mimic it
Hurt people hurt people is what statistics insist I fit in with
But I look at my son and want to bottle his innocence
Keep it tangible, manageable, able to engage the present tense
How can I be a reflection of only good things from my dad
Lifting the head of my child, like a sifter, gifting good not the bad
Repressed emotions can be volcanic with their eruption
Spewing hurts, burning from memories suppressed from interruption
But trigger the iceburg's hidden foundation and bigger problems
Along came a spider hidden in skeletons in the closet
Far be it from me not to believe
My King is able to show me fatherhood, a legacy for me to leave

My hands are not my own, I have given them away
My eyes are not my own, I don't see things the same
I've chosen to change and won't pass on my heritage
Some traditions can be changed, redeeming my inheritance

Still I reminisce on times past as though I can see them
In my mind's eye I blink and gone are the opportunities to seize them
Carpe diem is for today not past memories still bleeding
So I look to Jesus to keep me free from repeating evil seasons
I believe in the Son, the King of all the universe rotating
Elevating Him in speech, Lord teach me to replace this complacent
See that's He's perfect but I drop the ball like a rookie on his first day and
Can't connect my thoughts to actions like my feet are stuck to pavement
But God still saved me and He continues to show His grace
Discovering new heights and purpose as I climb this rock face
Patience in His plan allowing God to show direction
Moved nine hundred miles and I listen hard for inflections
I'm impatient and waiting but love like clanging cymbals
I want my heart to show true love not fake emoji symbols
I want to spend my life but hard to see my value for currency
Hurry Lord with peace restored so I can focus on currently