Zama’s story Video (MV)

Daddy's laughter is the home where I live
I'm Daddy's favourite
On special ice cream dates, the king I play with
My sole protector when Mommy's anger rages

My sisters side eye us like
Storm clouds that never rain
Don't be jealous of Daddy's love
There's enough for all of us
Leave the moody brooding
And join in on all the fun

My best memory ever was when I turned 10
I was the star of a celebration with all my friends
Mom and Dad got me a cake fit for a princess
Even my sisters cracked a smile
One in my pile of presents

After that, Daddy started to change
When I was taking a bath,
Sometimes Daddy would stay
Sit on the edge and make me laugh
Tell me about his day
But then he started to help
He would reach over to wash places I had missed myself
He would dry me off as if couldn't by myself
He started putting lotion on me where I should myself

Something felt very strange
He kept insisting we should
Try a brand new game
I thought it would be fun
This is my Daddy who I love
We're going back to how it was
He understands me
He's the only one who....

Explodes into flames when I try to pull away
My first time tasting Daddy's rage
I'm new to this kind of pain
I've never seen Daddy this way
I've never had to be afraid
My heart cries the no
My mouth can't say
My terror is his pleasure
This could never be a game
We keep these secrets every day

I asked him once why he does this to me
He says his actions are guided by amadlozi
To prepare his daughters for what marriage would be
A father helping his children is how he saw things

My 11th birthday was different
10 was a lightyear ago
Everyone sang for me, but my mind was far gone
My sole consolation were my sisters' hugs alone It turns out my suffering is a song that they know

They said it would get better
Things would be okay
By the time the signs showed
I was too far gone to terminate
The family's baby carrying Daddy's baby
I left school for a while
I would stand by the window
Wave at my friends
They came by during holidays to see if I could play
My parents said no
My childhood was worlds away

The day we went to hospital
A gentle lady asked me for my story
Like my baby every secret came pushing out of me
The police came to our door
Mama begged me to be quiet
My family is imploding
I am standing between hell and a riot
How can I jail my family's sole provider
I did what I did for my family
Even though the man who raped me is my father

The baby was whisked away
To a new life and new family
Never mentioned again
We never went to court
But every time I look in the mirror
The scar on my belly tells a tale
That my mouth is too broken to say

You can't change Zama's story, but you could change the stories of thousands like her. Visit amnesty.org.za to take action