Alucrud - Don't Hork It Up Lyrics

Everything's quiet, just a normal day
Sippin' on coffee, in my own little way
In the other room, I hear that sound
The dog's about to hork, my heart pounds

Is it on the carpet? No, not that spot
I leap from my chair, my stomach in knots
The gagging gets louder, wet gross bile
I sprint down the hall, hoping it's on the tile

Don't hork it up, not on the rug
I see it coming like a shotgun slug
It's too late, here comes the flood
Now I'm on my knees, mopping up crud

She's horkin' and borkin'
And hackin' and smackin'
Having a grand ole time

I burst through the door, but I'm a second late
The vomit's exploding, that's just great
It's a chunky mess, spread across the floor
Dog looks guilty, like she's done this before

I tried to save it, I really did run
Oh great (hork!), she's not even done
It's warm and slimy, with bits of dog food
Why the carpet? You've ruined my mood

Don't hork it up, not on the rug
The dog just barfed up a slug
Now I'm on my knees, cleanup's begun
Oh wait, she's still not done

She's horkin' and borkin'
And hackin' and smackin'
Having a grand ole time

Scrubbin' and scrapin', it's soaked through the weave
The smell hits my nose, I can hardly believe
Dog's wagging her tail, like it's all just fine
She made herself food, it's time to dine

(No no no. That's gross!)
(Oh god it's not coming out!)

Don't hork it up, not on the rug
A revolting puddle, sticky like a slug
But it's too late, I'm trapped in this funk
Now I'm on my knees, with a nose full of junk

I open the door, and out she goes
She made her mess, now we know
I'm on my knees, scrubbing grime
She's in the yard, having a fine time

I wipe and scrub, try to make it right
She's chasing birds, out of my sight
Next time you hork, take it outside
While I clean up this mess, and swallow my pride