ALT - Dissociation Lyrics

I don't know who I'm supposed to be
Is this meant for me?
I just wanna flee from my head and its rumbling

Hold up wait, do you know my name?
Is it worth this pain?
That I feel in my brain all f*cking day?

Wait, I don't know
Where I'm going
I've been searching, for a purpose
I don't know, which way I'm headed
But I have faith that, it's the right
Direction for me
No more hurting, a new way forward
Through the gates, to heavens door
I hope that soon, we make it through

Dissociation is my middle name
I feel like I'm living outside of my brain
I watch life happen all around me
One day I hope that I'm free from me

Is that fair to myself
Have I deserved all this pain that I've been dealt?
I feel shrouded by doubt
Am I a mistake, failed take, loser or worse?
I don't know, at this point, maybe I'm just f*cking cursed
Whos to say? who am I? Is my life a lie?
Maybe I'll feel peace, upon my demise

I've been feeling so f*cking lost, no one can see
I've been feeling like a ghost, no one asks me
I've been feeling so f*cking cold, no I can't breath
But here on my own I can see the sky's the limit
No I ain't got no gimmicks, I'm sick of seeing spittin'
Clowns thinking bars are spiffy
Wait a minute I've been thinking
Sick f*cks keep winning
But I'll keep on my business
Hope that one day I'll win this

I've been working too f*cking hard for too long
To loose all that I've built, yeah, to move on
Even when I'm feeling cooped up, drop a new song
No one knows what they have until its gone

No one knows till its gone just admit it
You were never made for this, but I'm gonna kill it
I really hope that one day you'll reconsider
Quitting bars and man feeling so f*cking bitter

I don't know what's wrong with me, I can't fix it
I've caused a lot of pain, I'm not worth it
I'm here on the brink, ceasing existence
One day I hope to be, truly set free