confession Video (MV)

I seen my aunt on the floor crying
No reaching hands I ain't know what to do
I seen my father hooked up in the hospital
He barely made it he breathes from a tube
I seen my mom on the couch, sipping her wine
Watch her stress as it dilute
I held my ex in my arms as she cried
Genuine love wonder what went askew
I heard my cousin been cracked out on drugs
Running from bullets a life he could lose
I look myself in the eyes in the mirror
Body shame when I feel slightly obtuse
Used to care bout the thoughts birthed from my peers
Now couldn't bother from words that they spew
Clipping off all of my dreads with some sheers
God is my shepherd I gotta pull through
People like what is you talking its books or the music lil nigga you gon have to choose
Devil like f*ck all the talking I know that you lonely got bitches right here you can screw
I cannot fathom a one night stand
Filled the wrong hole not your heart but her womb
I put my feelings in front of me
This open carry more lethal than your pistol dude
I spent the last days, weeks, months, years shit
Looking for ways to break through
She got a squad in her ear
Telling her what she should be even what she should do
Felt like a deer in headlights every time you got the nerve to tell me bad news
I wanna see your heart
Want the real thing I don't get turned on by nudes
I wanna feel your scars
Trust me I'm here to heal I would never mean to bruise
One slip up now we both lost trust
And we go our own ways that's just how it is
Used to be close friends now when we cross in public its just deja vu
Yeah I might miss you but the last thing I'm gon do is tell you huh
D and D on my celly right now I'm focusing on my next move
Don't judge too fast my nigga you ain't take one step in that person's shoes
And I wouldn't even want to
See everyone got their issues too
But everyone act good can't show weakness they might f*ck with you
When you really that down do you even have someone that you can vent to
At most when you see me you won't even get a lil preview
But I'm tired of hiding
Tired of griping
Tired of when I'm asked I'm good I say I'm tired
Tired of being the bad guy you know you had my best you such a liar
Sometimes wanna give in but its in my blood man I'm tired of being a fighter
God given gift for a reason best way to cope is when you are a writer
You don't like your pain so you look into a different fire
Crazy how we start that young shit crying for a pacifier