The Car Album Lyrics by Arctic Monkeys

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There'd Better Be A Mirrorball

Don't get emotional, that ain't like you
Yesterday's still leaking through the roof
That's nothing new
I know I promised this is what I wouldn't do
Somehow giving it the old romantic fool
Seems to better suit the mood

So if you wanna walk me to the car
You oughta know I'll have a heavy heart
So can we please be absolutely sure
That there's a mirrorball?

You're getting cynical and that won't do
I'd throw the rose tint back on the exploded view
Darling, if I were you
And how's that insatiable appetite?
For the moment when you look them in the eyes
And say, "Baby, it's been nice"

So do you wanna walk me to the car?
I'm sure to have a heavy heart
So can we please be absolutely sure
That there's a mirrorball for me?
La, ohh
Oh, there'd better be a mirrorball for me

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I Ain't Quite Where I Think I Am

Freaky keypad
By the retina scan
I've been given good reason to believe
I ain't quite where I think I am

But it's always worth half a blast
You know the face but you can't see past
The disco strobes in the stumbling blocks
Wait, there's the other island now

Formation displays of affection fly over (eyes roll back)
And I can see both islands now

It's the intermission
Let's shake a few hands
Blank expressions invite me to suspect
I ain't quite where I think I am

Stackable party guests
To fill the awkward silences
The disco strobes in the stumbling blocks
Wait, there's the other island now

Formation displays of affection fly over (eyes roll back)
And I can see both islands now
From my vantage point

The spare set of tingles'll race up your spine
If I get it my way

Looks like the Riviera
Is coming in to land
Early predictions would seem to suggest
I ain't quite where I think I am

Formation displays of affection fly over (eyes roll back)
And I can see both islands now

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Sculptures Of Anything Goes

How am I supposed to manage my infallible beliefs
While I'm sockin' it to ya?
Performing in Spanish on Italian TV
Sometime in the future
Whilst wondering if your mother still ever thinks of me
Hallelujah

Blank canvasses lent against gallery walls
Flowing towards sculptures of Anything Goes
On the marble stairs

Is that vague sense of longing kinda tryna cause a scene?
Guess I'm talking to you now
Puncturing your bubble of relatability
With your horrible new sound
Baby, those mixed messages ain't what they used to be
When you said 'em out loud

Blank canvasses lent against gallery walls
Flowing towards sculptures of Anything Goes
On the marble stairs
Leading to almost wherever you want them to

The simulation cartridge for City Life '09
Is pretty tricky to come by
Village coffee mornings with not long since retired spies
Now that's my idea of a good time
Flash that angle grinder smile, gasp and roll your eyes
And help me to get untied from the chandelier
And twizzlin' 'round an umbrella
I'll sing a tune

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Jet Skis On The Moat

Jet skis on the moat
They shot it all in CinemaScope
As though it's the last time you're gonna ride
Showstoppers anonymous
Come over here and give your buddy a hug
So much for deciding not to let it slide

Is there something on your mind
Or are you just happy to sit there and watch
While the paint job dries?
When it's over, you're supposed to know

Lights out in the Wonder Park
Your saw-toothed lover boy was quick off the mark
That's long enough in the sunshine for one night
Didn't recognize you through the smoke
Pajama pants and a Subbuteo cloak
You know that it's alright if you wanna cry

Is there something on your mind
Or are you just happy to sit there and watch
While the paint job dries?
When it's over, you're supposed to know

Jet skis on the moat
They shot it all in CinemaScope
As though it's the last time you're gonna ride

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Body Paint

For a master of deception and subterfuge
You've made yourself quite the bed to lie in
Do your time travelin' through the tannin' booth
So you don't let the sun catch you cryin'

So predictable, I know what you're thinkin'

My teeth are beatin' and my knees are weak
It's as if there's somethin' up with the wirin'
You can poke your head behind the mountain peak
Don't have to mean that you've gone into hidin'

So predictable, I know what you're thinkin'

I'm watchin' your every move
I feel the tears are comin' on
It won't be long
It won't be long
Straight from the cover shoot
Still a trace of body paint
On your legs and on your arms and on your face
And I'm keepin' on my costume
And callin' it a writin' tool
And if you're thinkin' of me
I'm probably thinkin' of you

There's still a trace of body paint
On your legs and on your arms and on your face
There's still a trace of body paint
On your legs and on your arms and on your face
There's still a trace of body paint
On your legs and on your arms and on your face
There's still a trace of body paint
On your legs and on your arms and on your face

So predictable, I know what you're thinkin'

Ooh, ha
Yeah
Yeah

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The Car

Your grandfather's guitar
Thinking about how funny I must look
Trying to adjust to what's been there all along
With the boat kiosk lady and her sleepy amigos

But it ain't a holiday until
You go to fetch something from the car

Travel size champagne cork pops
And we're sweeping for bugs in some dusty apartment
The what's-it-called café
You can arrive at eleven and have lunch with the English

But it ain't a holiday until
They force you to make a wish
They say, "Climb up this"
And "Jump off that"
And you pretend to fall asleep on the way back

No, it ain't a holiday until
You go to fetch something from the car

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Big Ideas

That's quite a number to sing
Spot lit getting lowered in
Can you co-direct and play the twins?
And adapt the main theme for mandolins?
I've conjured up wonderful things
The ballad of what could've been
Over and out
It's been a thrill

I had big ideas, the band was so excited
The kind you'd rather not share over the phone
But now the orchestra's got us all surrounded
And I cannot for the life of me remember how they go

Co-ordinated release
Nationwide festivities
We had 'em out of their seats
Waving their arms and stomping their feet
Some were just hysterical scenes
The ballad of what could've been
Over and out
Really it's been a thrill

I had big ideas, the band was so excited
The kind you'd rather not share over the phone
But now the orchestra's got us all surrounded
And I cannot for the life of me remember how they go

I just can't for the life of me remember how they go

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Hello You

LEGO Napoleon movie
Written in noble gas-filled glass tubes
Underlined in sparks
I'll admit it's elaborate for a waking thought
Vortex to vortex
The business they call show
Hasn't ever been this pumped up before
Hello, gruesome
There's just enough time left to swing by
And re-address the start
If you call and have them pull around the car
And stop specializing in stories from the road

Hello you, still dragging out a long goodbye?
I ought to apologize for one of the last times

As that meandering chapter reaches its end
And leaves us in a thoughtful little daze
This electric warrior's motorcade
Shall burn no more rubber down that boulevard
Read the message I left on the thank you card
Overtaking the tractor
Waiting for sets of winds and bends to level out again
Picking your moment along a country lane
The kind where the harmonies feel right at home

Hello you, still dragging out a long goodbye?
I ought to apologize for one of the last times

Taking a dive into your crystal ball
I've snorkeled on the beaches fruitlessly
Why not rewind to Rawborough Snooker Club?
Could pass for seventeen if I just get a shave and catch some Z's

Hello you
Hello you

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Mr Schwartz

Put your heavy metal to the test
Might be half a love song in it all for you
Timing wise, it's probably for the best
Come here and kiss me now before it gets too cute

Mr. Schwartz is staying strong for the crew
Wardrobe's lint-rolling your velveteen suit
And smudging dubbin on your dancing shoes

Gradually, it's coming into view
It's like your little directorial debut
As fine a time as any to deduce
The fact that neither you or I has ever had a clue

Mr. Schwartz is staying strong for the crew
Wardrobe's lint-rolling your velveteen suit
And smudging dubbin on your dancing shoes

And if we guess who I'm pretending to be
Do you win a prize?
Having attempted twice, both incorrectly
Do we get a third try?

The gloved hand's reaching in to hit the switch
There's not one goddamn thing that you can do about it

Oh, Mr. Schwartz is having tea with the grips
Asking after all the wives and the kids
It's at the heart of what the business is

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Perfect Sense

Richard of York, The Executive Branch
Having some fun with the warm-up act
If that's what it takes to say goodnight
Then that's what it takes

A four figure sum on a hotel notepad
A revelation or your money back
That's what it takes to say goodnight
Sometimes I wrap my head around it all
And it makes perfect sense

Keep reminding me that it ain't a race
When my invincible streak turns onto the final straight
If that's what it takes to say goodnight
Then that's what it takes