Blood in my eyes
How can I see
I do not sleep
How can I dream
I do not know what to think
So much on my mind
So much on my plate
I made some mistakes
I'm raising the stakes
Shanya was two 2002
We was still living in the projects
I was a kid but I was so different
I had a whole different mindset
Nigga was hoopin
Niggas was trapping
I had a whole nother concept
Imma just make it with this rappin
Imma get my momma out these projects
I had dreams
Of making and spinning money till I'm nauseas
When you from where I'm from
You just learn to be cautious
I lost my mind
Back at the time
I didn't even have a conscience
I was a victim
All them conditions
They Only turned me to a monster
Pull up to the curb
Pops let my momma know me and my brother back home
Hop out the whip
Next thing you know masked up lil nigga holding up that chrome
Said give me them keys
Or you ain't gone make it home
Pistol whip to the dome
My father was holding on
What the f*ck goin on
I was just banging on the front door
Doug was standing at the stove
He was looking at me froze
Something weird about his clothes
My pops was in a different space
Blood all in his face
Momma asked him is he ok
Can you make it back to your place
He got blood in his eyes
How can he see
I do not sleep
How can I dream
I do not know what to think
So much on my mind
So much on my plate
I made some mistakes
I'm raising the stakes
2006 shanya was six girl you lookin more like yo daddy
Momma was pissed
Cuz she working shifts
He lost every job that he had he
Couldn't hold it down for us
I know it's different right now for us
But things ain't always been that way
It's so hard to forget that day
We was moving out the house
Shit was coming out they mouth
Back and forth and back and forth
Police was at the door
I ain't even know what we was packing for
But we was on our way
To a place I ain't wanna go
We ain't in the same school no mo
Had to share the same room in that home
You shoulda seen our momma eyes
She was full of pride
But she was traumatized
Been together since 99
Lost a lot of time
Almost lost her mind
I never felt so helpless
Deep down I was selfish
Momma where going
I'd have to kill you if I tell you
Blood in my eyes
How can I see
I do not sleep
How can I dream
I do not know what to think
So much on my mind
So much on my plate
I made some mistakes
I'm raising the stakes
2009 shanya was nine
We was all looking after Mikeal
He was just 4
We was so poor
That was my first first year of highschool
Things are different now
All that time I was missing out
Spending moments with my friends and out
We was all so distant now
Mar made me proud
He stepped up when I was down
He looking after you now
Mike lookin up to you now
I guess all im tryna say is
I done made some mistakes and
You a queen till this day and
You just like momma in a way
I just had to tell you my side
I just had to remove my pride
Shit was making lose my mind
I get my courage from you sometime
We got nothin but time now
We can make it up right now
Everything in the light now
And if you asking me why now
Blood in my eyes
How can I see
I do not sleep
How can I dream
I do not know what to think
So much on my mind
So much on my plate
I made some mistakes
I'm raising the stakes