I think I just woke up
When did things get like this?
I gotta stop getting my news from MTV
And I think a change is something we need
If I don't get another job
My two cats are gonna starve
And it's too bad that I can't feed them
Just with this guitar
The world's changing around me
I see it spill into the streets
Like the guy who's on the corner
Who's trying to feed his kids
My stock just hit three pennies
How am I gonna live?
No pension, no 401k
This economy is stiff
My skin's gonna melt off, oh oh
If the sun gets any closer
We're all just dinosaurs waiting for an asteroid
Seems that way to me
And I've got age defying cream
You know wrinkles are a sin
My Botox is wearing off
Doc, can you squeeze me in?
I can't go outside
I can't breathe the air
As long as I can sit inside
With my air set at 65
I feel silly buying water
Cuz I can't drink it from my sink
The kid who lives next door...
What's he supposed to think?
I can eat all I want guaranteed
Cuz there's bypass surgery
And if I blow it the first time
I'll just do it again for free
Population boom
I'm the enemy
Don't get sick with information cancer
Cuz there's no vaccine
So sing me something catchy
And give it a good hook
Write me something clever
Cuz no one ever reads books
Not everything's a joke
But it's a satire at best
Someone save me from myself
Cuz I'm so damn selfish
Turn on the evening news
To see death and poverty
Homeland secure
Unless you count perjury
How long can I fake this smile?
How many times must I walk the same mile?
Sometimes I wish I was alone on a desert isle
But then I can't check my MySpace