That s--- only happens to other people
That s--- can't happen to little old me
That s--- only happens to other people
That s--- can't happen to little old me
Someone died today
But I only know 'cause it got in the way of my daily horoscope
Four years older (probably needed glasses)
Hit and run (maybe texting?)
Fifteen whole miles away from me
This is why I don't go to the valley
The birdie on my shoulder
Told me that we should eat breakfast
Cnd then we laughed
Because it was noon
That s--- only happens to other people
That s--- can't happen to little old me
That s--- only happens to other people
That s--- can't happen to little old me