Cutting Room Floor - Fight or Fly Lyrics

I want you alive
'Cause i know if you go
You'll go for the reasons that grip at my loved ones
We're trying to build houses from rotten wood

And we're not living
We're coping, we're stumbling
And feeling is strange, what's familiar is numbing
And kindness always comes as a surprise

'Cause the ways we've been hurt split us off in directions
That make us go headlong, ignore intersections
We look through the cracks in the bodies of friends
For some kind of truth

Replaying our trauma as if we can't help it
We've all seen the harm and we've come to expect it
Who's going to teach us to cultivate care
And make it bloom

Do we fight or fly
When neither's an option
We're all on this island with families chosen
By how we've found ways to survive

It's hardly
Intentional really
Communities flailing, can't deal with our feelings
We're trying to build houses from what we can find

Only time will tell whether we fight or fly

And if you hurt me am i still your keeper
Isn't my abuser still one of my people
I've tried but i can't keep the question at bay
And it's haunting me

To dream of escape is a waste of our time
That's what makes so many of us want to die
Who'll teach us forgiveness when we're so afraid
Of our own insides

No one's here but us whether we fight or fly

You drove by my house last night
I couldn't let you in
I let you have my bed after our fight
Stayed on the couch that night

And lay awake trying to decide
If i was right to doubt
Whether or not your kindness
Was something i could count on

You wrote a letter, tried to bring it
By but i said no
My friend got caught up in your game
I couldn't have her in my home

I cast out everyone
And everything
That could tie me
To you
Except of course there
Was one tether
I couldn't undo

Honey you're a beehive, sweet and stinging
I still remember the singing
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love

I had to tear myself away from the lakeside
The days you gave me your good side
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love

You told me that you knew you still had a knife
In your back, it kept hurting everyone
You touched, you knew that much

And how can i forgive you now that you've swallowed
The girl i loved more than anyone
One, one, one, one, one, one

And i don't wanna see you, i can't be near you
But sometimes, i wonder if you're okay
Or if i did you harm

The good in you was only mine to borrow
But we'll both wake up tomorrow
That's what i want, that's what i want