My Tina Turner-shaped car
Used to be the talk of the town
It was so beautiful by far
And I'd love to drive it around
But now it's just embarrassing
It looks so beat up
And it doesn't run on fuel
It runs only on drugs
It ain't cheap to fill the gas tank
Three times a week with cocaine
The horn once sounded so beautiful
Now it's two notes out of tune
Oh this car is so pitiful
I've gotta get one that's new
What is it with all the cars that I get
For the first few months they're always great
Then the celebrity's status declines
And my car suffers the exact same fate
My Burt Reynold's mobile
Vanished without a trace
My David Hasselhoff limo
Drove itself into a ditch
My Eddie Murphy 'vette
Suddenly burst into flames
My Leonardo DiCaprio Mustang
Is rightfully ashamed
My River Phoenix tour bus
Suddenly just died
And my Barbara Walters Metro
Makes the most godawful sounds
And is so annoying
So as it stands it's all I've got to drive
So to stay out of sight I only drive at night
I wanna make sure the roads are almost clear
When I shift my Tina Turner-shaped car into gear